That's-What-She-Said Day... FAIL

Now, I’m not one to bat a perfect .1000 with all the Facebook groups and events I create each year; but at least I do everything in my power to have them make as much sense as possible before I send the invitation out to hundreds of people. In this case study, we have a high school sophomore creating the event:

1st Annual International "Thats What She Said" Day
THATS WHAT SHE SAID! the line we all use in our heads....or outloud!!
(check out the event here)

While I appreciate his enthusiasm towards this extremely quotable line from a great television show, there are just too many things wrong with this event, namely, from an administrative standpoint, to push me to the point where I might care to accept and/or participate.

1st - To get picky right off the bat, "thats," found in the title and subtitle, really just needs an apostrophe, please.

2nd - I don't even think there needs to be a subtitle. All he did was repeat the main concept and then tell me this is a phrase we all use "in our heads....or outloud!!" Well, as of January 10th, I know that 88,328 people, in fact, don't. Plus, I think it's weird to say "the line we all use in our heads....or outloud!!" It sorta feels like the equivalent of someone saying "the line we never use, or do!"

3rd - Outloud is not a word. Did he not have an extra 1.09 seconds to put a space there? Given the ridiculous check-box system Facebook has in place for you to select friends you'd like to invite to a group or an event, it is unlikely that he was in a time crunch. If he was, he definitely chose the wrong thing from his to-do list to jam in right before geometry class.

4th - It's Michael, not Micheal, for the love.

5th - This event is to take place from the hours of 12am - 12pm on Sunday, February 15th -- a huge oversight in my opinion. So we're supposed to sleep through the first half of the event, and then enjoy the second half, "in our heads....or outloud!!" at church? As much fun as that sounds, and realizing that there is probably as much fodder in a church as there is anywhere else for even the slowest of that's-what-she-saiders, The Office is a TV show about people at work, doing work, during work. All the favorite that's-what-she-said moments happened in an office -- specifically, in The Office. It seems appropriate that this event be celebrated on a weekday, when everyone is in their office. That's why April Fools Day wasn't scheduled in March, and why we don't ring in the new year between the hours of 8am and 8pm, on December 31st.

6th - In the description line, he thanks the writers from The Office, along with Steve Carell and "Micheal" Scott (again with the -ea). Well, which one is it? Let's agree-to-disagree and say that it could really only be thought up by the two non-fictional entities in that lineup. It was likely only one of them at that, unless they both happened to birth this hilarious utterance at the exact same moment. In light of this, the line should probably have read "thank you to the writers of The Office or Steve Carell." just saying.

Kid, I appreciate the effort, I really do. It's a funny phrase that's making people pervert even the most innocent of dialogue across America (and apparently across the world too, according to the global status of this event... though I have a hard time believing the heart of this line really translates to most other countries); but I think you need to get a secretary or something before you send out anymore of these event invitations.

Call it nitpicking. Call it semantics. I just call it proofreading before you send out an event invitation to 302,591 people.

But It's Christmas!

Nothing is more manipulatively catastrophic to a holiday situation than the use of the phrase, "It's Christmas." This phrase is often preceded by "but" or "don't you know?" and meant as a means or justification for why something should happen that wouldn't ordinarily happen during the other 11 months of the year.

It doesn't matter what it is either; it could be a guy breaking up with his girlfriend, or someone refusing to take out the household trash, you can bet that if it's happening in December, there is going to be someone nearby whining, "but, it's Christmas!" akin to the way in which someone might express how they are "not mad, just disappointed in you."

I can't remember when I first noticed this. It was probably during a movie, or at the Dippin Dots kiosk at the mall, or at my house growing up. Everyone was saying it.

Just like it's sister phrase "quit being a toolbag at Christmastime," this phrase knows no boundaries. It infiltrates family interactions everywhere, from the nicest, richest, put-togetherest, elitist of folk, to the meanest, poorest, disshoveledest, most egalitarian of society's underbelly.

We need to stop using this phrase as a justification for doing things that we would never do at any other time of the year -- unless, of course, we have intention to start living this way during these other times too. This sort of seasonal grace seems hypocritical. Just because there isn't someone from the North Pole keeping tabs on our behavior in July, doesn't mean that we aren't supposed to treat others with respect on Independence Day.

I think the main reason the phrase bothers me is the inherent superficiality of it -- the mortality of the attitude. The underlying context society has attached to this seasonal phrase replaces a necessary understanding and perception of how we can show mercy and care to others, all-year-round.

Don't get me wrong; despite its misdirected use, this phrase is definitely a step in the right direction. But more often than not, it seems to pop into people's heads around dawn on Black Friday, and disappear completely amidst the bulging wrapping paper-stuffed trash bags on the night of the 25th.

So maybe next time you're refusing to pick up your aging grandmother from the airport, about to fight a man to the death for the last parking space in G2 row 3, or debating whether to hand out Christmas bonuses to Clark Griswold, instead of mindlessly buying that same old line "but it's Christmas," realize that maybe this is really how we should be acting all year round -- not just when Santa has your 52" LCD tv on the chopping block.

A Grievance Observed

Sweat the Small Stuff is back... sort of.

For those unaware, Sweat the Small Stuff was the column I wrote for my college newspaper. The column did exactly what the title promised. And now, this blog, as nearly telling of its intentions in the title as my college column, promises to sweat and observe just as much, if not more. I'm also a lot less likely to be sued by Kevin James for producing a similar, text equivalent to his Comedy Central stand-up special "Sweat the Small Stuff."

I don't particularly know what this blog will look like yet. Maybe it won't be as much of a column as it will be a blog. Maybe it won't be as much a blog as it will be a perspective on life. Maybe it won't be as much a perspective on life as it will be me getting annoyed with stuff and posting it on the internet.

Regardless, it's starting, and right now, that's enough for me to... start.

About the Title
You have Google.... get crackin!